


Steven and the Squad

by JaKedeSnaKe



Category: Banana Bus Squad, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Banter, Comedy, Crossover, Gen, Multiverse, cursing, fun times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-01-03 11:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21179000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaKedeSnaKe/pseuds/JaKedeSnaKe
Summary: Owing to the multiverse’s infinite potential, it isn’t too far off to say that online personas as well as cartoons exist in some far off timeline. Technically it wouldn’t be too insane for the two to meet up from time to time.





	1. Meetup

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be a pretty weird fandom crossover, but I hope you guys like it. I have always been pretty fond of Steven Universe and the Banana Bus Squad, and I thought it would be interesting to combine the two in a fun, casual way.

Nine people traversed through a neighborhood made of diamond, triangle, and trapezoid-shaped homes. In front of the pack was the human-gem hybrid, Steven, showing these newcomers around the block. These people definitely weren’t from around there, let alone Delmarva. They were from far off someplace else.

They were from a different dimension.

According to the multiverse concept, there are an infinite amount of realities that are parallel or alternate to our own. Sometimes the differences between alternate universes are minuscule, with the one difference between a pair is that a granule of sand was washed here by the tides instead of there. Other times the discrepancies between universes are so vast that the “fundamental laws” of one timeline are completely different in another. 

Siding with the infinite potential of the multiverse, the concept allows for ever expanding and ever diversifying universes to come into fruition. Its unending potential likely allows for mankind’s creations to actually exist in some highly disconnected universe. Man’s T.V shows, movies, plays, books, video games, even online personas have the capability to be real.

The X-Files. The Marvel Cinematic Universe. The Normal Heart. The Man in the High Castle. The Last of Us. The Grumps. All their unique timelines are fact in one timeline or another.

Unlike other realities, beings from fictional realities know for a fact that their existence is the result of a creative human mind from another dimension. This fact doesn’t cause them any existential troubles, however. It rather gives them great gratification that an intelligent mind is the reason for their universe existing, flaws and all.

As with all dimensions within the multiverse, each of their inhabitants have the capability to phase through their respective dimensions into others. For fictional realities, the barriers that make this highly difficult for other realities aren’t nearly as powerful. This explains various different fourth-wall breaks, easter eggs, illusions, and crossovers within fictional timelines.

Which brings us back to our story.

Steven was giddy as he led the visitors through Little Homeworld. These people weren’t like the other outer-dimensional visitors that have toured his universe, like his good friends from Gravity Falls, The Amazing World of Gumball, and Star vs. the Forces of Evil. They were from a reality within the grand universal order known as “Youtube.”

They called themselves members of the Banana Bus Squad.

Terroriser, Wildcat, Nogla, Vanoss, Basically, Kryoz, Smii7y, Ohm, and Moo walked through the pop-up town, with Steven in the front.

“And this is Little Homeworld! We built this for the uncorrupted gems to live in, who helped in building as well,” Steven announced, gesturing towards the neighborhood. 

“Not gonna lie Steven, this place is pretty sick,” Marcel remarked, marveling at the architectural variety of Little Homeworld, as well as the uncorrupted gems giving them fascinated looks.

Steven chuckled. “You’ve said that about every place we’ve been to!”

“Hey, you can’t help it having every place in your universe being really cool.” Moo added.

“I know, right? The color pallets here are beautiful!” Ohm stated, gazing off into the sky.

“ *Snicker* Ohm you would be the type of person that’d get interested in color pallets,” Tyler joked.

“Hey, it’s true!” Ohm returned in a lighthearted tone.

Brian laughed. “Ohm’s out here takin’ pictures like, ‘oooh, guys, lookee there, that cloud looks really pretty,’” he mocked casually.

Ohm laughed in return. “Shut up, Brian!”

Steven turned to them. “It’s so great to finally have you guys visit! All my other dimensional friends said you guys were really fun!” he said.

“Hey thanks dude! Some of our friends couldn’t come with us today, but maybe they’ll tag along later. I just hope you find our style of humor not too weird from youre,” Evan replied. “You’re sixteen, right?”

“Uh, yeah?” Steven said, a tad confused.

“Oh ok, good, just hoping that you weren’t too young for us.“

“Oh you don’t have to worry about me getting traumatized by you guys. Trust me, I’ve been through a lot.”

“Aw, he didn’t mean to put you down Steven, sorry!” Ohm quickly apologized. 

Steven put his hands out, shaking them. “No, no, no, I wasn’t thinking that! I was just saying that you guys don’t have to worry about scaring me, that’s all!” he consoled.

“Our bad little man, our bad,” Nogla replied. After a moment of respite he looked down at his hands, chuckling. “Weird gettin’ used to bein’ in 2D, y’know?” 

“Well, no I don’t, actually,” Steven said factually, causing the guys to laugh.

John jeered, “Nogla he’s a cartoon, you dumb-[BLEEP].” A shrill beep was heard, causing everyone and John to stop and cringe at the sound.

Suddenly Evan began laughing. “Was - was that actually a censor? Ha!”

“Are you serious? *Laugh* That’s nuts!” Smii7y marveled. Taking an exaggerated intake of air, he opened his mouth to shout a curse, coming out as another drawn-out bleep. The guys cackled and groaned at the sound.

“SMII7Y STOP!” Marcel yelled, cackling. All the while Steven watched these rambunctious people with an slightly uncomfortable, slightly amused smile.

Steven turned away and almost called everyone to resume the tour when he noticed some gems reclining beside a fountain. His face lighted up and he waved eagerly towards the beings, who took notice and waved back. They stopped their waving after spotting the foreign beings behind him, confused. Steven took note of their bewildered looks and held up a finger signifying “give me a moment.”

Steven turned once more to the Squad. “Guys, I got some people I bet you’d like to meet! Come on and see!”

The guys, still amused by the censorship, calmed themselves down.

“Sorry Steven, we’re - we’re ready now,” Brock gasped in between intakes of air. Steven grinned and beckoned the Squad to walk with him.

Boy, what a sight Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, and Bismuth were in for.


	2. “Pizza Time” - Tobey Maguire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot gets confused over the guys’ character models, and then they go grab a bite of pizza.

“Peridot! Lapis! Bismuth!” Steven called, racing over to his friends.

“Hey Steven!” they called in unison. They all got up from the fountain benches and gave him a group hug. Once they released they resumed their perplexed stares at the Squad.

“Who’re they?” Lapis asked, her gaze moving from one man to the next. 

“Oh, right. Guys, I’d like you all to meet the Banana Bus Squad!” announced Steven, gesturing towards the guys like how a T.V hostess would gesture towards a new car.

The Banana Bus members replied with casual yet friendly “hey”s and “hi”s. Bismuth and Lapis responded en suite.

Peridot didn’t respond. Instead her starry gaze were fixated on Evan, Ohm, Tyler, Brian, and Smii7y.

“WOAH!” she exclaimed, racing over to become face-to-face with the five. “I’ve never seen experiments like you before!”

Brian and Tyler gave confused looks, while Smii7y, Ohm, and Evan gave forced laughs. Before Steven could explain to Peridot who they were, she continued her fascinated observations.

“You three!” she pointed to Tyler, Ohm, and Evan. “You are obviously some sort of hybrids between humans and Earth fauna,” Peridot observed.

“But how is this even possible? I don’t remember any hybrid experiments done by Homeworld ever succeeding on Earth . . . but it is possible that some successful hybrids could’ve escaped confinement or have been kept under wraps, at least until Homeworld left Earth. Who created you?” she prodded.

Evan gave a drawn-out “uh,” Ohm blushed, and Tyler remained stoically confused. Realizing she wasn’t going to get an immediate answer, she turned her attention to Brian and Smii7y.

“And you two! Half-human, half-inanimate object!”

Peridot’s fascinated expression soon turned towards confusion. “I can clearly see that you’re some sort of human/cybernetic hybrid,” she stated while looking at Brian, “But what is you’re other half?” Peridot said to Smii7y (who looked human except for having a milk bag as a head).

Smii7y smiled and gave a one-word answer: “Milk.” 

And with that he bursted out into laughter along with the rest of the guys.

The laughing didn’t deter Peridot’s thinking. “. . . Lactose? How is that . . . “ she said, her words trailing off into nothingness. 

Steven finally seized his chance. He laid a hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “Peridot, they’re from another dimension, that’s just their ‘character models.’ Believe me, I was a little confused too when I first saw them.” 

“Yeah, and I’m just a guy in a bunny suit - I’m not an animal like Evan or Tyler,” Ohm corrected.

“Oh. Well, uh, it‘s still nice to meet you all,” Peridot said, still perplexed.

“They’re from Youtube, which is the reality-based version of our TubeTube. They play games, make funny videos for people - just try and make people laugh.” Steven elaborated.

“So you guys are like comedians?” Bismuth asked, recently learning what a “comedian” was.

“You could say that,” Evan said. 

“We just don’t get paid nearly as much,” Tyler said half-jokingly.

Lapis stared at the blindfold with the ohm symbol that covered Ohm’s eyes. “How can you see through that?” 

“. . . Y’know I don’t really know, I just kinda can.”

“Well, that isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve seen a human be able to do.”

Bismuth stepped forward. “Well, it was nice getting introduced your friends, Steven, but I don’t want to continue talking on a hungry appetite.”

“I could grab a bite too,” Brian said, expressing his agreement. “Wait, dont’cha guys not haveta eat?”

“Yeah, but eating’s nice - food can feel good.”

“Y’all are confusing,” Tyler declared.

Steven, the secondary Crystal Gems, and the Banana Bus Squad sat inside Fish Stew Pizza having some lunch. Smii7y was busy picking the anchovies out of his slice of pizza when he glanced over at Lapis.

She was buys making the soda in her glass float outside the cup, the sight nearly causing Smii7y to choke on his food. Swallowing his bite of pizza he declared his excitement.

“WOAH! Lapis, how are you doing that?” he asked, genuinely interested. The commotion caused all the other members of the Squad to look over and express their own sounds of astonishment. 

Lapis didn’t share their enthusiasm. “Oh, this? This is just my power, that’s all,” she stated, not quite understanding the guys’ wonder. “It’s not much, really.”

“You kiddin’? That’s so cool!” Nogla said.

“Yeah I thought gems could only summon weapons, but some of y’all can waterbend too? Awesome!” said Kryoz.

The blue gem blushed. “Aw, thanks, I haven’t gotten a compliment for this in a long time.”

“You think THAT’S cool?” Peridot probed. “Watch this!” And with that announcement she lifted up everybody’s metal chairs and suspended them a solid five feet above the ground.

The guys let out shouts of surprise and amazement, with Nogla actually dropping his slice of pizza on the floor.

“Wha the fo-[BLEEP]?!” Nogla shouted while struggling to not fall off his chair, his “fock” getting censored.

“Yooo! Peridot, this is amazing!” Smii7y congratulated, scanning the room of floating chairs.

Suddenly Kofi Pizza came out of the kitchen. His eyes bugged out and he put his hands on his head. “AAAHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FURNITURE?!”

The sudden intrusion of Kofi Pizza caused Peridot’s focused to be interrupted, accidentally allowing the chairs to drop. Fortunately nobody was hurt, but a lot of the chairs were damaged. Kofi Pizza promptly kicked them out of the store.

As they were walking away from the pizza joint Peridot expressed her distaste for Kofi Pizza. “That clod clearly wouldn’t recognize an amazing sight if it smacked him across his face!”

“Relax Peridot, he’s just mad you broke his stuff. We’ll have to find out a way to pay him for the damages,” Steven stated.

“I’m sure we could scrounge something up to help,” Evan replied.

“I’ll sell him my channel. Shit’s gotta be worth at least ten bucks,” joked Tyler

“Not gonna lie - that was pretty neat,” Moo exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Marcel agreed, “We definitely need to see more of that.”

“Hey, ya can’t just go ‘round commanding people to do that sorta stuff all willy-nilly,” Brian chastised.

“Oh no, that’s ok! It’s always nice when humans show appreciation for our powers,” defended Lapis. 

“If you all want we could show you a routine Lapis and I have been practicing,” Peridot told them smugly.

The Squad expressed their liking of the idea and deliberated it with each other. Lapis and Steven weren’t so keen.

“Peridot, remember how last time went?” mentioned Lapis under hushed breath. 

“If it weren’t for my floating powers I would’ve plummeted 50 feet to the ground,” Steven reminded. “And I’m pretty sure none of these guys have powers.”

“Oh, relax, the error in the last run was completely on me. In my spare time I’ve fine-tuned my routine the point where I can’t mess it up!” declared Peridot. 

Lapis and Steven seemed to grow more in agreement to the idea. 

“Are you sure it’ll work this time?” Lapis asked.

“There’s a 98.43% chance of success - I’m positive!” she said with a smile.

“Alright, this could work!” Steven noted. He turned to the guys. “Alright, if you wanna try it out come back with us to Little Homeworld!”

And with that the group set off to redo a routine that hopefully won’t end in failure this time.


	3. (“It’s Always Sunny” Title-card) Tyler Almost Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler almost dies.

The gems, the humans, and the gem-human hybrid were all near Peridot and Lapis’s new smaller-than-average lake, all doing their own thing. The humans waited idly for the spectacle they were about to take part in, two of the gems discussed their performance, and the remaining gem was beside the hybrid getting his phone ready to record.

The original smaller-than-average lake had been destroyed when Lapis took it and the barn to space. Now Lapis and Peridot had a new home in the outskirts of Little Homeworld, which almost completely resembled their old barn. It was even complete with a new pond. This one was a definite upgrade from the last: not a deep dirt hole anymore, but a deep hole lined with cement. It even had a diving board - half of one, as Lapis didn’t know that they couldn’t be made out of leftover wood planks from Bismuth’s scaffolding.

After a brief period of waiting Lapis and Peridot approached the guys. “Alright, are you ready for the greatest spectacle you’ll ever witness?” Peridot announced with gusto.

“Heck yeah brother!” replied Smii7y.

“Are you sure that this is, y’know, safe?” Brock prodded, him and his friends having been briefed on their participation in the performance.

“Obviously!” Peridot said, a little offended. “The mathematical odds are overwhelmingly in your favor - chances of your death are rounding to about 1.57% odds,” she declared. 

Lapis chuckled at Peridot’s adorable nerd speech. “Don’t worry, you guys will be fine. It’s not like every day humans get to fly through the air, after all.”

“Wait - when did you say we were flying?” Evan asked, a little surprised.

“ *snicker* Evan they told you this,” Tyler reprimanded casually.

“Yeah, well, I was busy wondering why the Canadian flag is green,” he defended, motioning to the harlequin green flag above the barn’s entrance.

“We’re in Canada?” Nogla seriously questioned.

“We’re getting sidetracked,” Peridot butted in. “If you could all move over to the center of that metal base over there, we can finally begin.”

The Squad did as they were told and shuffled over to a large, circular, polished metal sheet lying on the ground. Bismuth crossed her arms to get into a spectating posture. Steven smiled widely and positioned his phone to record. During this Peridot and Lapis took up opposite positions around the platform, with Lapis near the pool. They both nodded, and the show commenced.

Brow furrowed in intense concentration, Peridot carefully and methodically raised the giant metal circle off the ground. Her hands outstretched like a zestful composer, she raised the platform higher and higher. The Squad, at first nearly stumbling at the change in gravity, quickly regained footing were marveled at Peridot’s mental strength.

Soon Lapis began her part. Hands contorting, Lapis caused the pool’s water to levitate out of the hole, a shimmering blue tube stretched out into the sky. With gracile movements of her hand she separated the water into dozens of little blocks.

The blocks of water soon divided into strips. With a large sweep of her hand Lapis moved the wispy strips to funnel around the amazed humans. The guys were awestruck as the water began swirling around them. Light shined through the intricately-shaped water, casting a dazzling array of shadows onto the humans. Amazed, the guys felt as if they were in a giant kaleidoscope.

Nine ribbons of water broke free of the column, each surrounding the waist and stomach of each of the Squad members. The strips carefully hoisted up each of the guys, elevating them higher and higher through the twinkling column. Soon they broke above the column and Lapis began whizzing them through the sky, high enough that they could see all of Beach City from the barn in Little Homeworld.

The guys really did feel as if they were flying. It felt like they were strapped into jetpacks as Lapis’s coordinated movements sent them into spirals, twirls, and flips through the beautiful sky.

Although Lapis is an experienced water-bending gem, even for her the individual choreographed movements she had for each of the guys put a little strain on her. One little sidetrack can disrupt her focus. And disruption could end up causing disastrous results in situations like these.

And of course Lapis got caught up admiring Peridot’s face, heavily scrunched up in focus. Her adorable scrunched up face. Her really hot scrunched up -

“AH FU - [BLEEP]!”

While Lapis was busy getting swooned by Peridot, her choreography accidentally caused Tyler to collide directly into an unsuspecting Nogla. The water supporting Tyler and Nogla instantly dissipated, causing both of them to break free of the water’s confinements and begin a free fall to the dirt.

Thankfully Lapis immediately sensed her dire mistake and froze movement of all the other still-flying guys. With great intensity she sent the displaced water zooming after the shrieking Tyler and Nogla, hoping to catch them before they became human puddles. Fortunately she managed to seize Nogla and keep him afloat. Unfortunately Tyler was still falling to Earth. 

Bismuth could only gaze on in horror as she watched Tyler plunge to his certain death, while Peridot was still mentally stuck on keeping the giant metal circle afloat. Bismuth was so captivated that she didn’t even notice Steven leap up into the air. Racing through the air he just barely caught Tyler before he collided into the barn roof. With a shaken Tyler in a bridal grasp he floated down to the safety of the ground.

Upon seeing this heroic act Lapis breathed a shaky sigh of relief. Gingerly she brought the onlooking Squad members back to Earth. They instantly ran over to Tyler, with everybody except Peridot following behind.

“Fu - [BLEEP] me! Are you okay?!” demanded Brian, eyes wide.

“I deada - [BLEEP] thought you were gonna die!” Marcel said, laying a shaky hand on Tyler’s shoulder.

“Are you hurt man?” Nogla asked, rubbing a sore spot on his shoulder.

Tyler had to have a moment to catch his breath before he began shakily speaking.

“Ffffffuuuuuuu - [BLEEEEEEEEEEPPP] dude! *cough* Hooooolllllyyyyyy ssshhhhiii - [BLEEP], I-I was havin’ a fu - [BLEEP]ing heart attack dude!”

Everybody could only laugh, the type of nervous wavering laugh given after a horrible event was only barely avoided. 

Tyler glanced up to Steven, who was still holding him. “Thanks a million dude, I-I would’ve been mush if it weren’t for you!” 

Steven smiled. “Hey, it’s all in a day’s work - I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Tyler only noticed then that Steven was holding him comfortably.

“You’re strong as shi - [BLEEP] dude, how’re you carryin’ me like that?”

“You almost fell to your death and you’re wondering THAT?” Steven jabbed.

Another round of nervous laughter was given. Suddenly Peridot came stomping over.

“Hey! The act isn’t over, why did we stop!” she complained. Everybody wordlessly turned from Tyler and looked at her with gazes that read “did you not just fucking see that?”

Peridot looked a little concerned. “. . . Did I miss something?” 

Steven allowed Tyler to stand up, and he and Bismuth stepped over to explain what happened to Peridot. Lapis remained behind, rubbing her arm in shame.

“I . . . I’m really, REALLY sorry Tyler - and Nogla. I just . . . got distracted.”

Tyler looked as though he was going to chew her head off. But after seeing Lapis’s sincerely apologetic face, which looked close to the brink of tears, he acquiesced her apology. 

“Thanks, I know you didn’t mean it. I’m just real glad Steven caught up to me in time.”

After a brief discussion Steven, Bismuth, and Peridot returned to the group.

“Okay, well, I’m glad you guys are fine,” Steven consoled, “And I get it if you don’t want to do a redo.”

“Yeah I’m not gettin’ back on that fo - [BLEEP]in’ thing,” Nogla refused, earning an elbow from Evan.

“Sorry dude, I just don’t think none of us are comfortable doing that again,” Evan restated.

“Yeah, yeah I get that,” Lapis said understandably, with Peridot nodding alongside her.

“Hey, it’s no biggie. We can always do something else, if y’all are up for it,” Bismuth proposed.

Everyone stood thinking of a proposition. Suddenly Steven offered an idea.

“Well, if you guys like playing video games for a living, we could go over to the arcade or my house and play.”

“I’d thought you’d never ask!” Ohm grinned, holding up a backpack bursting with game DVD cases and consoles.

And the guys went off to teach Steven how to not get shit on in COD.


	4. “So Anyway, I Started Blasting” - Danny DeVito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven owns it at COD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to update! I went through this chapter a lot, revising it, adding stuff, and cutting things. Despite these setbacks I think this is so far the best chapter of Steven and the Squad. I hope y’all like it!

Steven sat alone on his bedroom floor, the other gems having gone off to get back to their own work. He was taking in the dozen or so games lying around him. He had never heard of such games before - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, Super Smash Bros: Ultimate, and Grand Theft Auto 5. He smiled, excited to play these new games with who he hoped could become his friends. Ohm had given him the games from his backpack earlier, and he and the rest of the guys were off getting more gaming equipment. Steven wondered when they were going to return so he could start playing.

As if on cue, the Banana Bus Squad members barged upstairs. Ohm and Evan stumbled in carrying a giant flatscreen T.V, Tyler struggled to hold two odd-looking black rectangles, and Marcel and Kryoz tugged in a large metal box.

“You ready to get some dubs?” Smii7y called, trailing behind the others along with Nogla, Brock, and Brian, each carrying miscellaneous items.

The teen’s eyes lit up into stars. “Oh em gee! We’re gonna play on that?” He asked, pointing to the giant T.V Ohm and Even were wrestling to put down.

Marcel grinned. “Hey, ya gotta play these high quality games on a high-quality set. Plus I don’t think your old T.V can support these games.”

“And you’ll need these consoles!” Tyler added, slamming down an Xbox and Playstation console beside the T.V cabinet, immediately cringing as he realized he probably shouldn’t have threw such delicate equipment down so harshly.

“How did you guys pay for all of this?” Steven asked, a little unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

The guys shared worried glances, apprehensive of revealing the answer. 

“We took ‘em,” Kryoz suddenly answered in an incredibly nonchalant tone.

“From a friend!“ Evan interrupted, trying to save face. “Yeah! We, uh, borrowed them! For this special occasion!” He lied, a sheepish grin on his face.

Although Steven could easily see past Evan’s lies, he knew these guys were mostly good-natured and didn’t want to have stolen items on them for long. He sighed, smiling. “Alright, just make sure you return all of this to your ‘friend.’” 

“Y-yeah man, don’t even worry ‘bout it,” Nogla replied, wondering how the hell he and the guys were going to return a stolen T.V and two whole consoles back to Target.

Tyler spoke, seeking to change the subject. “Alright, lemme teach you how to use a Playstation. Once you’ve mastered this you can play on this now ‘stead of your . . . is that a PS2?” Tyler asked, looking at a rectangular box on the T.V cubby stand.

“No, that’s a PlayBuddy 2 - wait, PlayBuddy’s are parodied off of a real-world console?”

“That’s nuts! Guess you won’t need anybody to tell you how to use a Playstation.”

“Hey, just because I’m from a different dimension doesn’t mean I have a completely different gaming setup,” Steven reminded in a jokingly reprimanding tone.

“Dude, you live in a state called Delmarva and Canada’s flag is green. There’s bound ta be other differences b’tween our dimensions than jus’ those two,” Brian declared. 

“What’s Delmarva called in your dimension?” Steven asked innocently, causing everyone to laugh.

“Alright, alright, TED Talks’s over. What game d’ya wanna play first?” Tyler asked, picking up Grand Theft Auto V’s disk case. He instantly frowned. “Uh, yeah, let’s not play this one,” he said while pushing the case aside. 

“Oh, yeah, about that - how would your realistic-looking games look in my cartoon dimension?” Steven asked, a bit worried. “I imagine not very good.”

“We got that covered little man,” Kryoz reassured. “This here box transmits signals all the way from our dimension to here. It’ll allow you to play on our dimension’s servers, and’ll broadcast our dimension’s graphics to games in here. Believe me, you dunno how hard this was to phase through our dimension.”

“And we actually asked to bring this with us,” Brock revealed, knowing it was fruitless to continue bullshitting with Steven over how they obtained a lot of their tech.

“How did you carry all this with you?” The teen asked.

“We managed to cram it all inside the Banana Bus,” Ohm said, in a somewhat tiredly reminiscing tone.

Steven looked out of his window and saw the long green and yellow bus sitting juxtaposed against the serene sand. Whenever outer-dimensional visitors come to visit Steven, the main portal allowing entry is fixated on the beach near Steven’s house - the spot right where the Crystal Gems lie on the beach when the show’s title card is shown in the intro. And being the Banana Bus Squad, the guys always like to visit other dimensions in their Banana Bus, which acts as a sort of mobile home for them. They really enjoy themselves whenever they make an eye-catching, grandiose entrance into dimensions with their Bus. 

Maybe the Squad would’ve adjusted their style of arrival if they knew that the Bus was gonna drive straight onto sand once they entered through the portal. Hopefully it won’t take too long to get the sand out of its exhaust pipe. And engine. And many other inner-workings.

Evan picked up the Super Smash Bros case. “Alright, this is probably more your speed, ya wanna try it?”

Steven glanced down at the case with the bearded soldier on the cover. “No, thanks anyways. I wanna try that one!”

“You sure man?” Marcel asked, a little warily. “Ya might not like how people are on it, y’know?”

“Hey, I’ve saved the Earth from real enemies many times - I can handle some virtual ones.”

Everyone else relented. After Steven recovered from a brief moment where he was awestruck by the game’s hyperrealistic graphics in comparison to his cartoon world, the guys taught him the controls, got him a loadout, and set him up for a match.

As Steven waited in the lobby Brock showed him how to talk into the headset he brought for him. Once the brief tutorial concluded Steven was practically bubbling with excitement, eager to talk with gamers from another dimension. The Squad took up sitting positions behind him, watching Steven get ready with the proud attitude of a parent watching their child go to their first day of school.

When Steven finally entered a lobby he attempted to talk amicably with the gamers in it. “Hey, uh, I’m new to this game and I know I’ll be pretty bad - but I’ll try my best!” he announced, smiling to himself.

“shut the fuck up kid” BigChubs69 chastised.

“i can’t tell if he’s being fucking serious or not” [SUCC]MyNutsack remarked scathingly.

Unbeknownst to Steven the Squad members flinched behind him, all instinctively reaching to unmute game chat to shit-talk whoever taunted Steven. They were brought back from their pursuit of reprisal when they remembered that none of them were wearing headsets. 

After the barrage of insults subsided the teen‘s smile froze and faltered a bit, turning into a frown as he turned back towards the guys. Their faces held evidence of stifled anger, and were all apologetically reading “we told you these guys were toxic.”

“Yeah, and ‘cause these guys are speaking from another dimension I don’t think they’ll be censored,” Evan clarified. “So, if ya wanted to know what a swear sounds like, well there ya go!” He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Soon the match began - a deathmatch on Piccadilly Circus. Tyler perked up at the setting. “Alright, you got the M4 with the noob-tube, so as soon as the match starts aim you sight just left of blue and red sign on the right and fire. You could pop off an early kill.”

“What’s a ‘noob-tube?’” 

“Uh, just press that button there once the match begins.”

Taking his advice, Steven carefully aligned his gun’s sight with the sign. As soon as the match started he fired. Soon his screen lit up with a hitmarker.

Everyone behind him let out a cacophony of astonished “ooh”s and “aay”s.

“You got a hitmarker on the first try dude - nice!” Nogla commended.

With a newly garnered ego boost Steven charged his character forward wildly, his character toddling along into the open with blind confidence.

“Oh fuck he’s gonna get owned,” Tyler thought a little worriedly, but also a tad gleefully as he was looking a bit forward to seeing Steven’s first time getting a hitmarker end so comedically abrupt.

When he reached the fountain Tyler saw an enemy peek out from behind a red double-decker bus. “This is it,” he thought, “This is where he gets obliterated.”

However Steven, with almost lightning-fast reflexes, jerked his player towards the enemy and shot. The bullet aligned perfectly with the opponents head, and he fell like a sack of rocks. Suddenly another player peaked out from behind a car and started blasting rounds, who quickly met his teammate’s fate at Steven’s hands. It all happened so fast that even Steven had to have a second to recollect.

Steven’s god-tier plays elicited even more vociferous eruptions of congratulatory noises came from the guys. 

“Holy shi-[BLEEP], Steven, you’re poppin’ off! You said this is your first time playin’?” Kryoz queried.

“Y-yeah!” Steven answered, a little taken aback by his success.

“You’re nuts! How are you so good?” Brian probed.

In all honesty, Steven had no clue. He’d never even touched a shooter game before, and his newfound skill seemed eerily spontaneous. He dug through his mind thinking of possible reasons, to which he narrowed down to two. One could be that somehow his combat skills as a real-life Crystal Gem were rubbing off into the realm of virtual-fighting, which seemed implausible. Another was that natural gem instinct allowed him to sense danger and react quickly. That didn’t seem too far off; didn’t Garnet become really good at Meat Beat Mania when she played it for the first and last time at the arcade?

He didn’t have much time to continue pondering. Creeping inside a building he noticed an enemy player having his back to him, firing at one of his comrades. He was just about to shoot when Marcel tapped him on the shoulder.

“Wait-wait-wait! That’s the last guy - try going for the execute!” Marcel urged, excited to see if Steven could really get it on the first try.

“How do I do that?”

“Get right up next to him and press the button for melee - if you do it right you can get an execute,” Marcel revealed.

Steven’s concentration heightened as he slunked towards the enemy, the guys watching with baited breath. When he got close enough Steven quickly pressed the button for melee on his controller. In the ensuing cutscene Steven’s character approached the enemy from behind, whipped out a curved knife, and swung it down on the enemy’s throat, instantly killing him.

A resounding roar quickly erupted from the guys as the words “ROUND WIN - COALITION ELIMINATED” flashed upon the blue-tinted screen. They all laughed and gave Steven congratulatory slaps on the back as the final killcam replayed Steven’s assassination. Steven chuckled a little, the adrenaline brought on by his attentiveness finally waning.

“Wow, that was actually really fun! Thanks for showing me this guys!” Steven thanked, somewhat relieved that the attention-needy game was over.

“No problem dude!” Smii7y replied heartily.

“Now that we’ve defeated those enemies, the world is saved!” Steven exclaimed triumphantly.

Brian laughed good-naturedly. “Well, if you were on Allegiance then I guess ya didn’t do that,” he kidded. 

Steven’s proud attitude was replaced with horrified confusion. “Wait . . . what?”

“Yeah, in the death match mode Allegiance plants bombs and Coalition defuses them. If Coalition gets all eliminated, then Allegiance wins and the bomb’ll go off,” Tyler explained, his face holding no concerned features.

“Oh no, that’s terrible! Is the bomb gonna explode? How many people are going to get hurt?!” Steven cried, sickened over his contribution to an apparent terrorist act.

“Woah, woah, woah, relax Steven,” Marcel soothed. “It’s just a game, nobody’s really gonna get hurt.”

“I know, but still - I helped a bomb go off regardless! Even if this is all part of the ‘coding,’ it still feels wrong! I’m a Crystal Gem, I can’t do this!”

“Relax dude, it’s okay, really. Just think of this like a, uh,” Ohm sputtered, trying to ease Steven.

“A sparring! Thing! Whatever they’re called!” Evan introduced.

“A sparring match? Like what the Gems and I do?” He thought, reminiscing over the practices he would have with Pearl in the ruined arena.

Nogla laughed. “‘Course man! It’s jus’ like one big practice, y’know? Everybody’s playin’ the game for fun ‘n ta better their skills, not ta actually relish in killin’ people!”

“The only people that say that are people who’ve never touched a controller in their life,” remarked Tyler. “Like people on Fox News.”

“Plus, the only people that’re gonna get blown up by bombs are you ‘n the other players, ‘n that’s only if the game reaches the time limit.” Brian added.

“So the people on here don’t look forward to blowing up virtual cities? The main attraction still is the gaming experience?”

The guys nodded in confirmation, glad that they’ve finally eased the teen’s conscience.

Steven chuckled. “How could I’ve let my mind get carried away so easily?” he thought. “It’s just a game. These guys wouldn’t put me under anything they suspected would stress me out.” Steven knew he had a lot to learn about how these guys think, and how the games they play work. And he figured that the Squad knew that they had a lot to learn about how he thinks.

“So, you ready to sh-[BLEEP] on some kids some more?” Tyler prompted.

“I’m guessing those are slang terms?” Steven asked, smiling confidently.

Tyler grinned right back. “You know it, dude.”

The teen cheered. Gripping his controller with great focus, he got ready to start “popping off” again. Happily, now that the Squad had linked the game they had made so many funny memories with, with something Steven also cherished. He was one step closer to becoming close friends with these jaunty adults.


End file.
